Grieving Divorce from a Different Perspective

Divorce is compared to a death. For healing, you have to work through stages similar to the stages of grieving. My divorce support group last week was about grieving. It had me questioning myself. People who are several years post separation/divorce are still pining for what was. And people whose spouse has been exposed for infidelity repeatedly are still questioning whether they should stay or should they go. And others are holding on to their anger or pain years later as if it had just happened. While atypical me sees the truth of what has been, acknowledges what it became, and am moving on. Am I kidding myself?

Sitting in front of a counselor over six years ago, she relayed to me a tornado had hit my home. A tornado that completely destroyed it and left a pile of twisted, broken, and tattered remains. That tornado was AJ's "first" affair. Part of the process of healing was sifting through the debris. Wanting our marriage restored and to become healthy myself, I went through that difficult process as well as others. I worked through my dysfunction in the marriage and in life. This co-dependent woman, insecure, clingy, and needy became stronger because her worth is placed in her Lord and Savior alone.

Here I am again, sifting through the debris. But being emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthier, approaching the circumstances that was thrust upon me in a very different way. Approaching it trusting the Lord is good despite what has happened and He loves, values, and delights in me. God in his grace and mercy prepared me to walk through my divorce in His strength, not my own, and I am incredibly grateful. Even though there are still hills to climb to heal completely for my little family of three, my life is still beautiful and more of His beauty awaits me!