For the past eighteen years I've been a member of a Biblically sound church. I'm grateful for the impact it has had on me in knowing the Bible. It's simple, sound, and direct. But I came to a point of spiritual stagnation. Like any water left to stand, I became polluted by my own impurities. Eventually our family made the difficult choice to visit another church. Many months later and we haven't left. We've determined so far the messages to be Biblically sound. The simple, sound and direct has become mysteriously beautiful, intricate and exciting. With joyful anticipation and excitement, I am beginning to see how God is impacting us with His message and the greater impact it may have.
The most pronounced messages we've heard repeatedly has been on authenticity and community. What a balm to my soul! Before visiting, that is the desire God place on my heart ~ to encourage and be encouraged as we live more openly with each other, getting involved in each other's lives with compassion and brotherly love. So after many months of attending worship, with great hope, we began visiting Sunday school. Finally to see what we've been hearing and what the Lord had placed as a desire in my heart...
What a disappointment! I am truly stunned. A month of visiting and not even recognized as a visitor. Not even a greeting from anyone. In the twenty-two years I've known AJ, this had never happened to him. He can start a conversation with anyone, but both our attempts were complete flops. And neither of us could get anyone to make eye contact to exchange a smile, a nod or a "hello". The ironic part is they still talked about community and investing in each others lives, but what was said was in great contrast to our experience and what we observed between them. So overall, they are no different than what I've been at times, repeating the mantra of the church as we think we should. But it's shallow because the message has not impacted the soul.
As I pour my heart to the Lord over my disappointment, I begin to cry and realize it's because I've lost hope ~the hope of an authentic community of believers involving themselves with each other in grace and mercy. Reflecting on that thought, His quiet voice reminds me, my hope has been displaced. Hope not in a message. Hope not in a church. Hope not in a people. Hope in the Lord.
I love that you write right from your soul. I am sorry that happened and you can't find the sense of community that you need. I understand. Love you.
ReplyDeleteLisa, while I reflected I also gained a sense of peace that my desire is not in vain. It may not be what and in the way I envisioned, but He still has something. Hope continues. Love you back!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your experience. :( With all the physical moves we've made, unfortunately, we've experienced this more than once. As believers, we know it shouldn't be that way but I always wonder what if I was a lost soul coming to this place to find healing and salvation? What if we were a faith-shaken family about to fall apart and have sought out the church as a last-ditched effort? Would WE be able to see past this to placing our trust in God alone? Probably not. :( But on the other side of the coin, many times people are UNWAWARE that they are not including newcomers. At least I'd like to believe they are unaware. But your dear, straight-from-the-heart post is yet another reminder that we must be ever looking for an opportunity to connect with people...church or Wal-mart alike.
ReplyDeleteHope you are well, Meredith! I appreciate you sharing your heart as you did, and I am so glad you have peace about the situation and have your hope placed in God. :) Are you still attending that particular church?
Thank you for sharing, Michele! I wondered the same things. Actually, we are officially joining the church this Sunday. :) We found another Sunday school class who live the message and are falling over themselves welcoming and encouraging us. They're more real...post to follow. ;)
ReplyDeleteMeredith, a couple of months ago after reading an incredible book by Norm Wakefield (Equipped to Love), I realized my hope had also been displaced. Aren't we continually looking for someone or something else to fulfill us in ways that only God can? It's encouraging to know though that God keeps pursuing us and is in the process of helping me (us) see that my hope should only be in Him! Love ya girl!
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