Reclaim

Exhausted, but at rest within, I just spent two days attending non-stop meetings at my alma mater for freshmen orientation. MBray is officially enrolled as a college student, has her dream class schedule set for fall including a history class with a fabulous professor (I find it funny I can direct her to some of the professors I had when I was there, though this one just worked out), and is in full prep mode to move there. I smile just thinking about it. She'll do great and I am so excited for her!

Quite frankly though, I was anxious about being there before we left. Not because of the bittersweetness of anticipating my oldest leaving the nest and beginning a new chapter of her life. But because the bulk of my memories of there, both in college days and beyond, revolve around my ex, AJ. We met and began dating my sophomore year, got engaged my fifth year (changed my major during my fourth year), and went back for athletic events over these past two decades as a couple and a family.

Not only are there physical reminders, but there are the relationships. There was a high probability of running into my, his, or our college friends, especially those who don't know how our story played out. That thought put me on edge. It's so incredibly awkward, especially being as "fresh" as it is, and I know no other way to handle it other than tell the truth.

Instead of all I feared, it was a time of reclaiming. I knew no one associated with "us". There were hardly any alumni in this orientation group of hundreds of incoming freshmen. I didn't see a soul I knew from my student days. I spent my time enjoying the beauty of the campus and the love current faculty, staff, and students have for the university.

I hate to say I am living vicariously through my daughter, but in a way, I am. In this case, both healthy and healing, at least I think so. Thank you, Lord!

Oh! And by the way, WAR EAGLE!!!!