Steady As She Goes

Ever feel like you're reliving something you've already lived before? Got a call during the holidays from a local, unidentified wireless caller. Normally I'd let them leave a message, but with AJ out seeing a movie with a friend, the kiddos insisted I answer it in case of emergency.

The female on the other end is talking to me like I know her, apologizing for calling at an odd time. Not recognizing the voice, I finally interrupted her and ask who is this? Giving me her first name, I replied, (her first name) who?! Oh! My sister. Well, it has been three years and her over-enunciation of words to hide her drunkenness off and on for the past two decades has completely erased the voice I remember.

Without going into any details, all that was said was a repeat of what had been said in the past. There was no indication of remorse, much less repentance, but regret is cheap so she pulled that one off. As usual she dumped a few overloaded sacks of guilt in the name of my mom, my kids, and the family. She had a new one, though. Chaos, who she said has taken his fury to new heights, has cancer.

Wow. How did I know it would turn out like this? Through the Holy Spirit this scenario has been considered, even in the past week. Chaos facing a crisis becomes more chaotic and again, I am expected to re-engage in the madness with those who enable him and create chaos themselves. But to what end? As long as they are enabled, they will never come to the end of themselves. And until they come to the end of themselves, they will never discover Jesus.

Those sacks can stay where they were dumped. I don't feel guilty for holding back, waiting to see how it plays out. Sacrificing at this point would not create beauty; it would allow evil to flourish. In the mean time, steady as she goes.