With the revelation and divorce, many dreams have died, one of which is adopting. As I fretted and toiled over why the approval process drug out for so long in the beginning and why in those two years since we had been approved we had not gotten a single call about a match, despite my repeated inquiries, the Lord was fully aware of what was going on in dark and hidden places. It was His protection. He was protecting the foster kids and He was protecting our little family of three.
So how do I feel about it all now? I am grateful to God because none of it was in vain.
Attending the Empowered to Connect Conference opened my eyes. It allowed me to acknowledge and deal with the impact of the emotional neglect and verbal (and on a few occasions physical) abuse of my childhood. It led me to understanding and healing.
The years I spent praying for what I thought were our adopted children, were actually prayers for my current children, for what they would be facing:
Guard our children mentally, physically, and spiritually. Place Your protective wing around them during the storms. Thwart the plan of the adversary to destroy them. Pull them out of the pit. May there be a hedge of protection around them, a legion of angels guarding them. I entrust them to Your care. Prepare us as we wait on Your timing. Bring healing into their lives- heart, soul, and mind.
A couple of months ago my kiddos met with a counselor. When I met with him, he remarked how well they are doing, how close the two of them are, and how God had knit the three of us together for this time. He referred to us as a three stranded cord (Eccles. 4:12). The Lord prepared. He aligned my prayers with what He knew would be in their future.
And the dream of adopting may not be completely dead. Perhaps in time as my kiddos begin leaving the nest, the Lord will lead me to open my home to foster or adopt a child who needs a single parent. We never know what path He will take us down, but rest assured, we never walk that path alone or in vain.
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